Ziggurant - the power of babble
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Beleagured Immigration Minister, Beverley Hughes rounded off her hysterical 'as informed as a drunken bar fly' broadside in Parliament yesterday with the words I am not resigning. I'm neither incompetent, nor dishonest"
Nought out of two there then, Bev'
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Hear nowt, see nowt, speak only when David Blunkett tells me to.
Beverley Hughes should, most definitely go. She should have gone months ago. But she won't - unless forced out, kicking and screaming her innocence....Why doesn't any of the current crop of Ministers ever get up and say "Yes, I am culpable - I've cocked up and now I should go"...
I don't know why I am surprised though, the last Government Minister to publicly get up and announce he was to blame was 22 years ago. Lord Carrington admitted he was at fault (as Foreign Secretary) when the Falklands were invaded. Even then, he had to insist to Margaret Thatcher that she accept his resignation. It might, just might make the electorate feel more involved and less cynical if just once in a while, a Minister got up and said "Mea culpa".
(Sorry, I'm suffering from naive delusions, obviously)
Friday, March 05, 2004
My fellow citizens. I am asking for your support in a most delicate of subjects. I need your help. I need your donations, urgently.
I’m not the young, vibrant, go ahead ‘can-do’ man I once was. Instead of ‘Things can only get better’ - it’s now Things can only get thinner
Yes, your extremely talented leader is getting thin on top. To put it bluntly I need your hair. Now, I’m not asking for blonde, or black, just vibrant, new Labour mid brown.
It’s a sensible policy. It’ll be good for the Country, good for the community, but most of all good for my ego. It’s a sort of ‘top-up’ for free – for me.
So come along all you brunettes, get your scissors out and start popping your locks into envelopes. Please give generously. All donations should be addressed to:
The 'Hair for Blair' Appeal,
10 Downing Street,
Your vibrant leader,
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Council Tax going up way over inflation AGAIN.
Well I’m not paying it!!
In future I’ll empty my own bin, all over the Town Hall steps.
"Don’t mess with me your Lordy Mayoryness."
In future I’ll do my own policing Ziggy the Viggy-lanty…. I just need a baseball bat and a badge.
"Feel lucky punk, well do ya?"
In future, I’ll take inspiration from that little old 83 year old lady and say "sod off" to the bailiffs.
"Will all you ruffian bailiffs please sod orf"
In reality, I’ll probably most likely just take it - and up my Standing Order to accommodate the new rise.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Are there any ‘conviction’ politicians at Westminster any more?
They all seem to be failed lawyers….
Or wannabe TV celebs…
Or indeed, convicted politicians.
Or aspiring penny dreadful authors….
I don’t know how knowledgeable they are – but 4 of them had a go at University Challenge last year. They were playing some old hacks. Predictably, the hacks slaughtered the MPs’ something like 385 to 65.
I’m sure there are some good guys and girls out there, beavering away on behalf of their constituents.
Yes, I’m sure there are.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
The clever money is getting out of greens and into cement
The concreting over of the South East continues apace as the Gov'- through Minister of State for Transport, Alistair Darling (a Scotsman) and ably assisted by Junior Transport Minister Kim Howells (a Welshman) announced today that another runway should be built at Stanstead in Essex.
"It is every citizen's right to fly" ...... Agreed, but if there are alternatives around, why not utilise and optimise those - rather than bulldozing yet another bit of dear old Blighty.
Question: How many commercial airline journeys, per year are there between the South East and Paris?
Answer: 18,000. That's a hell of a lot of air miles - especially when you think that the time taken in getting from London city centre to Paris city centre via airports, is easily beaten by the Channel Tunnel Rail Link - even with the decrepit railway system on our side of the water.
Ziggy's tip for sensible Governance in Transport
Darling, mate, never heard of 'INTEGRATED THOUGHT'?
Your brief is Transport; the trinity of modern movement - Road, Rail and Air.
The area of your brief is not just the South East. What the Gov' is doing is piling even more kindling on an already white-hot, over populated, over priced, over serviced area. Admittedly there are extra runway proposals for Brum and Edinburgh, but the real obsession is with the South East - for a change.
Road and Rail are certainly Countrywide issues, but Air is totally different, that needs to be addressed on a Europe wide basis. For instance, a long standing agreement means that large carriers, when taking off from say Frankfurt, routinely land at Heathrow - for no better reason than picking up a few more passengers, but more importantly keeping up Heathrow's obsession with being Europe's number 1.
Quality of life and service to the community should be your watchwords, Darling, not top dogism.
Friday, December 12, 2003
Is it too much to ask?
Tony Blair, Sir. Please, please may we have a referendum for us (you know, the people you bleeding well serve) on the proposed new Euro Constitution.
So, can we, you know, have one?