North West Says No to a Regional Assembly
Ziggurant - the power of babble
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Beleagured Immigration Minister, Beverley Hughes rounded off her hysterical 'as informed as a drunken bar fly' broadside in Parliament yesterday with the words I am not resigning. I'm neither incompetent, nor dishonest"

Nought out of two there then, Bev'

Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Hear nowt, see nowt, speak only when David Blunkett tells me to.

Beverley Hughes should, most definitely go. She should have gone months ago. But she won't - unless forced out, kicking and screaming her innocence....Why doesn't any of the current crop of Ministers ever get up and say "Yes, I am culpable - I've cocked up and now I should go"...

I don't know why I am surprised though, the last Government Minister to publicly get up and announce he was to blame was 22 years ago. Lord Carrington admitted he was at fault (as Foreign Secretary) when the Falklands were invaded. Even then, he had to insist to Margaret Thatcher that she accept his resignation. It might, just might make the electorate feel more involved and less cynical if just once in a while, a Minister got up and said "Mea culpa".

(Sorry, I'm suffering from naive delusions, obviously)

Friday, March 05, 2004

My fellow citizens. I am asking for your support in a most delicate of subjects. I need your help. I need your donations, urgently.

I’m not the young, vibrant, go ahead ‘can-do’ man I once was. Instead of ‘Things can only get better’ - it’s now Things can only get thinner

Yes, your extremely talented leader is getting thin on top. To put it bluntly I need your hair. Now, I’m not asking for blonde, or black, just vibrant, new Labour mid brown.

It’s a sensible policy. It’ll be good for the Country, good for the community, but most of all good for my ego. It’s a sort of ‘top-up’ for free – for me.

So come along all you brunettes, get your scissors out and start popping your locks into envelopes. Please give generously. All donations should be addressed to:

The 'Hair for Blair' Appeal,
10 Downing Street,

Your vibrant leader,

Tony Blair.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Council Tax going up way over inflation AGAIN.

Well I’m not paying it!!

In future I’ll empty my own bin, all over the Town Hall steps.
"Don’t mess with me your Lordy Mayoryness."

In future I’ll do my own policing Ziggy the Viggy-lanty…. I just need a baseball bat and a badge.
"Feel lucky punk, well do ya?"

In future, I’ll take inspiration from that little old 83 year old lady and say "sod off" to the bailiffs.
"Will all you ruffian bailiffs please sod orf"

In reality, I’ll probably most likely just take it - and up my Standing Order to accommodate the new rise.
"Ho hum".

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